Welcome back @jfj!
Shouldn't! 
Almost sounds too good to be true tbh!!!
Either way. You need one for sure, and if you want remote access from 'anywhere' it'll need to be somewhere public -- same for the controller.
Did you find this big thread? Create private router on linux machine It had a user on satellite access. I recommended they use a router at home but their latency was way higher than what you're describing.
You might need to have a VPS somewhere if starlink truely only allows traffic from "intra" starlink but that seems somewhat hard to believe, but also not hard to believe...
We'll wait for further updates from you. I don't blame you for not wanting to have a cloud hosted thingy, but if starlink blocks incoming traffic, you'll be out of luck. A quick google makes me think that all starlink nodes are CGNAT. If that's the case, yeah you'll be out of luck and you'll need a VPS of some kind...