Hey! So yeah, as @TheLumberjack said, we were chatting in his Minecraft Server trying to sort this out… and after trying a couple things, lowering the log level to debug, getting killed by a Creeper and letting @TheLumberjack parse the advanced logs… we concluded it was the IPV6.
Since I set up the service config using localhost apparently it resolved using IPV6 and that didn’t quite work. I’ve been having these IPV6 problems because of my internet service provider. For some reason it defaults to IPV6 for some stuff, I also had tons of problems in the laptop i use for work because of this.
The fix was to change the service to use 127.0.0.1 instead (I think the LAN ip 192.168.x.x would also have worked) so IPV4 is forced.
I know I’ve already said this a gazillion times, but thanks for all the support. It’s been super fun and amazing to have this fixed with you guys 
I’ll see you around with, hopefully, “easier fixes” hahahah
Cheers!
P.S.: If you’re a visitor reading this forum post please give some stars to the OpenZiti Github repo, these nice folks totally deserve them and more!!